Make an accounting to overcome negative thoughts about others and give the benefit of the doubt

This is a letter that Rav Asher wrote. He writes that he read the letter that he received and this person who is writing to him that the shalom bayis, the peace in the house, is difficult, that there is no peace in the home. Reb Asher writes that he understands the pain and hardship he is going through and he sees how the thoughts are not leaving this person and he sees that he is like in a jail, and he is in that jail without hope of a release.

But he says that the thoughts a person has are not true. It causes a person to lose his sole foundation for existence because the evil inclination puts this thought in his head and doesnn't give him peace of mind because he has a bad eye towards this person he is in controversy with.

Hashem listens to everyone when they turn to Him in prayer. He should beseech Hashem, He should give him the strength and the will to overcome this evil inclination that wants to destroy him and remove him from the world

when he writes to him that when he finds a little tranquility he should make an accounting and then maybe the truth will enlighten him that the person that he is suspecting is not really at fault at all. And he will realize his wife is not at fault and that what he is blaming him for has no substance.

It is just a bad thought that entered his mind and does not give him peace of mind and he believes this bad thought. Reb Asher writes that when people come to this world and they right away come under the rulership of jealousy, arrogance and desire, and the Rabbis reveal to us that these things remove a person from this world and we are all in danger because of this nature that we have. and He gives us the strength and free choicde to overcome thisnature and put it into good and we could end up to worship Hashem and with this we can get eternity and cleave to our Creator.

That is what we have to do, to take these bad thoughts and to turn them around because we are in the realm of jealousy, arrogance and desire. as soon as we enter the world we are under the realm of these bad character attributes.Reb Asher asks him to overcome with all his strength on these thoughts and to judge every person favorably and if he judges other favorably then others will judge him favorably and he will be saved and have bracha and success with peace of mind.

That is what he advised him to do

Often we have thoughts that are not really true and we have to look at them in a different light. It is not true what we are seeing. we have to judge favorably and we have to appeal to Hashem to help us out of this rut. when these things are happening and we are thinking badly about others, we should ask Hashem's help to deal with it and to judge them favorably. What Reb Asher is adding here is that we have to call out to Hashem to help us with that as well. It takes out the bad feelings that are in a person's heart. We have to ask Hashem for help, we cannot do it on our own. The baser part of us is all a part of our existence, when we are born we are in this type of arrogance, jealousy and desire.

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