2019.11.27, the first virtual-life-experience talk show in China,《Life Choices/人生选择题》, was broadcast. "Dolphin Princess" #JaneZhang #张靓颖 shares her growing-up story and plays to experience the ups and downs of her virtual life. In the game, Jane was immersed in a plot in which "was forced to contract huge debts that couldn't be repaid" and this reminded her when she was 15 and sang in a pub.
She remembers her growing up as a child, when she defines herself as a "strict mother".
At the beginning of the game, when she had to choose 9 "characteristic traits of one's life", Jane chooses with great determination "Curiosity" and "Optimism".
However, she didn't opt for the 3 emotional traits of "Family", "Love" and "Friendship": "They are a result for me, not a process !"
Jane, who considers herself optimistic, was very strict with herself during her youth, "always trying to do more than her peers", but also "forced to contract huge debts that could not be repaid". She reports that his scholastic experience took place in the awareness of "I'm not able to work as hard as my peers". At that time, Zhang Liangying wasn't good at homework and at 3 am she was often still studying. But the optimist Jane wasn't frustrated by this: "There's more inside me, there are things I can do better and I'm not going to give up !" The Jane's strengths was in music !
Her family wasn't rich and, she says she lived her youth with the mom trying to save and earn money to pay off family debts.
When she was a teenager began participating in singing competitions mainly to win cash prizes. At first she sang in Chengdu hotpots-restaurants and pubs and earned, "80 yuan for 4 songs, from which to pay 5 yuan taxes." In that way Jane had a monthly income of over 1,000 yuan, which was higher than the salary of her mom before she was fired. Even though she's already well paid, Jane leaves all her revenue in the care of her mother, because "The choices and decisions about managing family life were my mother's".
At a young age Jane was a kind of "strict mother", she adored her mother and was subject to the strict discipline of her mother. By the time she was 30, she was growing closer to her mother. She says she has a very similar personality to her mother, both of whom are people who cannot tolerate sandy stuff and who express their feelings frankly.
Imagine your middle-aged life, and Ms. Zhang's first reaction was to compare herself with her mother: "I'm starting to look more and more like my mom ... like to whisper."
In the middle age part, Jane drew on the "still alone" plot and shared her love and marriage views with great candor. In her view of own life, she isn't necessarily married in middle age 'cause she "doesn't think marriage is necessary ... but love is necessary !". And she's also very opposed to the idea that love can be turn into affection: "If it's gone, it's gone ! Don't interpret it as affection !"
She's strong in her feelings and has a firm attitude in her relationships, and even when she's hurt in love, she will choose to sit down with the partner and talk, rather than receive comfort. "There's no need for comfort. Sometimes the comfort is like a humiliation ... there's nothing to be comforted by. A failure is a failure !". Having experienced emotional ups and downs, she said that now she "loves more simply" than before, and she would not give up love.
Referring to the management of negative emotions, Ms. Zhang admits that her approach is to "avoid". She's afraid to show her negative feelings to the others: "the greatest form of love for the world is not to share our negative energy". Today she seldom feels helpless and isn't easily upset. "It's no use crying one thing after another ... there's no time to grieve". Although she was still laughing while said this, a few words struck the most sensitive hearts of the audience. Feeling the atmosphere on the scene was a little tearful, Zhang Liangying immediately fixes things: "A female entertainer has false eyelashes and cannot cry !". A short sentence is funny and enlivens the atmosphere.
Jane Zhang, reluctant to reveal her weakness leaves the memory of crying in 2018. That year, she experienced emotional upheaval, the rumors of divorce and intermittent deafness in her right ear during her performances. The storm and pressure come in, and she release herself through tears in the background of the first stage of her 2018 tour in Beijing. But even when she was feeling down, she only allow herself three minutes to clear her mind. "I set the alarm," she says on the stage. Although she has been avoiding negative emotions, when the host of Life Choices, Hua Shao, mentioned that Jane would play out her softness singing, she shed tears for a moment. Ms. Zhang, who has always been optimistic and strong, puts all her emotions only into the sing, and the music is her best way to explain herself.
[ from China Daily Chinese article ]
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